Wednesday, September 1, 2010

don't feed the model

annie and i made a trip to k-rodgers (kroger) this evening..
we clumsily walked the aisles in search of rotisserie chicken, salad, and salad dressing.
after snagging the dressing we turned to leave the aisle. 
at the same, a mother (wearing a moo moo and black sweatpants, mid-40s, slate gray hair, of redneck heritage, who still owned the mineral rights to 60% of her teeth) and her two daughters (early 20s, Pentecostal smiles, and overall sweetly nondescript) entered to our right.
The daughters, heeling their mother, scanned the immediate area - as if they were watching for the off-duty cop.  You know the cop; the fella wearing his aviators inside at night. 
Their path was direct and intentional.  The mother, almost tip toeing, approached the 20' x 6' wall of mayonnaise.
Her voice curled around the end-cap of sweets and marshmallows.
A crude, southern accent with nasal-laden tones  proclaimed: 
"OH MY GOSH!  They have Hellman's on sale!!!!!""

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